Hello blog readers!
It has been way too long!!
Sorry that I fell off the face of the planet. I'm alive and still getting in to trouble.
I'm giving up on Kisses and Catastrophes to start a fresh blog because there are many new stories to share.
Details on where to read the new blog will be posted right here as soon as its ready... and it will be very soon. Right now I'm thinking of new blog names... if you have a suggestion I'd love to hear it so comment ASAP!
Special shout out to Michelle who messaged me about this the other day. Good to know that people like reading my tragic and hilarious tales.
Talk to you soon, really soon
Xo
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Monday, April 25, 2011
"Stop loving me so much!"
Haha that beauty line said in jest (maybe or maybe not in bed) after a stellar night.
So backing up the train a little, I need to calm down lately and stop doing such foolish things! I know I'm single but let's just Cole's Notes this and say... went out with my girlfriend... we met cute dudes... yada yada yada... one pissed in my spare bed.
Needless to say its not the smartest thing I've ever done (bringing strangers back to my casa) but the buddy system was in play... Safety first, team work second. And f whatever... might have been super dumb but was definitely SUPER fun.
Clearly Jacket was a better pick over Lips but I'm not going to blog too much about that... things usually go right in the crapper when I start to gossip about them.
Always nice to meet new friends and see old friends... and help those old friends make out with people in cabs but then maybe she wakes up in a bed full of pee... Hey sidenote - I know you read this you Hooker... and next time we go to walk into our friend's room... let's knock hahaha great moment.
So prior to this weekend... I was having a great bbm flirtation with a favourite way back play back... but for some reason... that has kinda fizzled out. He probably has a new gf already. This guy does not stay single long... and why should he? He's super gorgeous, smart, great smile.... Interesting thought though... when you've have oh let's say a decade of history with someone... is enough ever enough or does all that back and forth mean something...
I think I am a very forgiving person and a wise woman once said to me that I don't know my worth... and once I realise that I am sort of a "catch"... and what I have to offer... I'll find someone who treats me that way. Smart eh? I know. It's something I need to work on.
Anyways overall... great weekend with lots of shinanigans and hopefully many more to come.
I would have gotten into the whole "choking" discussion I've been engaged in lately but I'll save that for my next blog.
-L-
So backing up the train a little, I need to calm down lately and stop doing such foolish things! I know I'm single but let's just Cole's Notes this and say... went out with my girlfriend... we met cute dudes... yada yada yada... one pissed in my spare bed.
Needless to say its not the smartest thing I've ever done (bringing strangers back to my casa) but the buddy system was in play... Safety first, team work second. And f whatever... might have been super dumb but was definitely SUPER fun.
Clearly Jacket was a better pick over Lips but I'm not going to blog too much about that... things usually go right in the crapper when I start to gossip about them.
Always nice to meet new friends and see old friends... and help those old friends make out with people in cabs but then maybe she wakes up in a bed full of pee... Hey sidenote - I know you read this you Hooker... and next time we go to walk into our friend's room... let's knock hahaha great moment.
So prior to this weekend... I was having a great bbm flirtation with a favourite way back play back... but for some reason... that has kinda fizzled out. He probably has a new gf already. This guy does not stay single long... and why should he? He's super gorgeous, smart, great smile.... Interesting thought though... when you've have oh let's say a decade of history with someone... is enough ever enough or does all that back and forth mean something...
I think I am a very forgiving person and a wise woman once said to me that I don't know my worth... and once I realise that I am sort of a "catch"... and what I have to offer... I'll find someone who treats me that way. Smart eh? I know. It's something I need to work on.
Anyways overall... great weekend with lots of shinanigans and hopefully many more to come.
I would have gotten into the whole "choking" discussion I've been engaged in lately but I'll save that for my next blog.
-L-
Monday, April 18, 2011
"I can't believe you're single!"
Where to start! Its been so long since my last blog post but I've been a little busy. I'll do an entire Charlie Sheen blog later this week - it might take an entire blog to do justice to my Sheenius adventures.
So a few blogs ago... (might as well get right into er') I wrote about gettin' in the sack with some dude on the first date and how I had never done that before, and I was worried it was going to come back and haunt me... well it did! It a great big fiery "one ball" of glory - haha this blog may come back to haunt me in the karma department so I'll try and be as nice as possible but what a giant doucher.
I drove another two hours to go see him (I also drove there on the first date), he was an hour and half late... star frame to a few hours later since I realise more people than a thought are reading this blog (wink) and we're sitting on the couch. We agreed to order pizza. He puts on Jersey Shore the re-run of the season finale. Since we are in his town I ask where he usually orders pizza from and he raises his voice and all pissy says "I don't care I'm watching this!!" I grab the blackberry and look up pizza and Brantfo.. first thing that comes up is Marias pizza... I ask if its good... he snaps "ya ya its right around the corner". I order the pizza and 20 minutes later when its ready I say "are you gonna come with me to get this". Asshole barks "No I'm watching this". I get there... the place is closed with the lights off... I call the jerk from the parking lot and tell him... he yells again that hes watching the show, he doesn't know of another Maria's and hangs up. I know... and it gets worse... you know what... fast forward I go back there and let out a huge sigh when I sit on the couch. He glares and me and says "what?" I said "well you're kinda being a jerk about this whole pizza thing but I guess this show is really important to you".... The only thing I can compare his reaction to is roid rage meets the Hulk but minus the green colour and one ball... Regardless to say I left and if by some grace of goodness that loser is reading this... I really hope you get your anger under control.... oh and they're called re-runs and oh fuck off its JERSEY SHORE! You're right your life wouldn't be complete without knowing what happened to Snooki and that couple that always fights....
Anyways... moving on to some other more fun boy updates... well some fun and some not. I had a a date a couple Saturdays ago. Super nice, sweet guy but not really my type. His big demise was when he went for a walk down a rando rape path in Vaughan, sat on some rocks and he said to me "I'm thinking of kissing you"... Guys if you take away any advice from this blog ever... NEVER f'ing say that! Mood killer and basically means you have no balls (some times literally) and you probably suck at kissing... The guy was at least nice though so two days after the date when he was trying to re-book I told him that I wasn't feeling it rather than be a bitch and do the slow fade. He didn't respond.
Other fun things... a couple comebacks! Both jocks. One with a lot of history and a great ass and one is a young balled pro hockey player. Kinda fun. There's only one that I want and am actually spending time talking to. Can't lie... makes me happy just to see your hottness back on my BBM list!
You know when you meet a great person and you're on the first date and you're looking across the table thinking "why are you single"? know that there is a reason! Whether its being too choosy or having high standards or a recent break up or full out crazyness... In most cases the good ones aren't single long. That's why they say "all the good ones are taken"... because they usually are but sometimes life gives you a moment when two great people are single... guess its up to you what happens next!
-L
So a few blogs ago... (might as well get right into er') I wrote about gettin' in the sack with some dude on the first date and how I had never done that before, and I was worried it was going to come back and haunt me... well it did! It a great big fiery "one ball" of glory - haha this blog may come back to haunt me in the karma department so I'll try and be as nice as possible but what a giant doucher.
I drove another two hours to go see him (I also drove there on the first date), he was an hour and half late... star frame to a few hours later since I realise more people than a thought are reading this blog (wink) and we're sitting on the couch. We agreed to order pizza. He puts on Jersey Shore the re-run of the season finale. Since we are in his town I ask where he usually orders pizza from and he raises his voice and all pissy says "I don't care I'm watching this!!" I grab the blackberry and look up pizza and Brantfo.. first thing that comes up is Marias pizza... I ask if its good... he snaps "ya ya its right around the corner". I order the pizza and 20 minutes later when its ready I say "are you gonna come with me to get this". Asshole barks "No I'm watching this". I get there... the place is closed with the lights off... I call the jerk from the parking lot and tell him... he yells again that hes watching the show, he doesn't know of another Maria's and hangs up. I know... and it gets worse... you know what... fast forward I go back there and let out a huge sigh when I sit on the couch. He glares and me and says "what?" I said "well you're kinda being a jerk about this whole pizza thing but I guess this show is really important to you".... The only thing I can compare his reaction to is roid rage meets the Hulk but minus the green colour and one ball... Regardless to say I left and if by some grace of goodness that loser is reading this... I really hope you get your anger under control.... oh and they're called re-runs and oh fuck off its JERSEY SHORE! You're right your life wouldn't be complete without knowing what happened to Snooki and that couple that always fights....
Anyways... moving on to some other more fun boy updates... well some fun and some not. I had a a date a couple Saturdays ago. Super nice, sweet guy but not really my type. His big demise was when he went for a walk down a rando rape path in Vaughan, sat on some rocks and he said to me "I'm thinking of kissing you"... Guys if you take away any advice from this blog ever... NEVER f'ing say that! Mood killer and basically means you have no balls (some times literally) and you probably suck at kissing... The guy was at least nice though so two days after the date when he was trying to re-book I told him that I wasn't feeling it rather than be a bitch and do the slow fade. He didn't respond.
Other fun things... a couple comebacks! Both jocks. One with a lot of history and a great ass and one is a young balled pro hockey player. Kinda fun. There's only one that I want and am actually spending time talking to. Can't lie... makes me happy just to see your hottness back on my BBM list!
You know when you meet a great person and you're on the first date and you're looking across the table thinking "why are you single"? know that there is a reason! Whether its being too choosy or having high standards or a recent break up or full out crazyness... In most cases the good ones aren't single long. That's why they say "all the good ones are taken"... because they usually are but sometimes life gives you a moment when two great people are single... guess its up to you what happens next!
-L
Friday, March 25, 2011
What a Wild Ride!!
Well I have to admit, I'm enjoying my 15 minutes of fame! It's all because of the Charlie Sheen internship I applied for a few weeks ago!
More than 74-thousand people in 81 countries applied. I made it to Round Two which was cut to about 130 people and now we're in Round 3!
Check out my Round 3 video submission by going here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg8py-gGVTQ
Since Wednesday I've been on Variety 104 The Morning Rush with Jimmy and Sue, 96.7 CHYM FM in Kitchener with George and Tara, CJSS with John Bolton, 101.7 the One in Wingham with J.C, Julie and Steve, 101.5 The Wolf in Peterborough with Dani, Variety 104 with Amanda Logan, Hot 89.9 in Ottawa with the Morning Hot Tub...
Let's not forget A-Channel in Barrie - here's the link to that... fast forward to 26 minutes in
http://www.anewsvideo.ca/videos/341/wednesday-march-23,-2011-a-news-at-6-webcast
I'm getting lots of love from B101 here in Barrie where I actually am on the air reading news in the mornings as well as our sister station ChayToday!
Now I have interviews booked with the 94.5 the Bull in Wingham, FM 96 in Kingston, The Dean Blundell Show on 102.1 the EDGE on Monday and 106.9 the Bear in Ottawa!!
Hard to keep up but it's amazing!
Go to Facebook and like my page.. my YouTube video is posted there too!
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Help-Vanstone-Become-Charlie-Sheens-Intern/137253436344813
More than 74-thousand people in 81 countries applied. I made it to Round Two which was cut to about 130 people and now we're in Round 3!
Check out my Round 3 video submission by going here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dg8py-gGVTQ
Since Wednesday I've been on Variety 104 The Morning Rush with Jimmy and Sue, 96.7 CHYM FM in Kitchener with George and Tara, CJSS with John Bolton, 101.7 the One in Wingham with J.C, Julie and Steve, 101.5 The Wolf in Peterborough with Dani, Variety 104 with Amanda Logan, Hot 89.9 in Ottawa with the Morning Hot Tub...
Let's not forget A-Channel in Barrie - here's the link to that... fast forward to 26 minutes in
http://www.anewsvideo.ca/videos/341/wednesday-march-23,-2011-a-news-at-6-webcast
I'm getting lots of love from B101 here in Barrie where I actually am on the air reading news in the mornings as well as our sister station ChayToday!
Now I have interviews booked with the 94.5 the Bull in Wingham, FM 96 in Kingston, The Dean Blundell Show on 102.1 the EDGE on Monday and 106.9 the Bear in Ottawa!!
Hard to keep up but it's amazing!
Go to Facebook and like my page.. my YouTube video is posted there too!
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Help-Vanstone-Become-Charlie-Sheens-Intern/137253436344813
Monday, March 21, 2011
Charlie Sheen and Firefighters and Fish N Chips Oh My!
When I sit down to the write this blog... I question what things to filter. The title of this blog was originally going to be "A firefighter brought me fish n chips" haha but that's a story for another day.
Super excited though! Made it to Round three in the Charlie Sheen internship!! Now I have to make a professional "YouTube" video! Can't wait. Creative meetings and brainstorming sessions start tomorrow. I want this friggen internship so bad. I am litterally visualizng getting it. Power of positive thinking right??
Alright back to true... well me form... i've gotta gossip about boys... but where do I begin? Well here's an honest fact... a little while ago.. I broke a major rule and slept with a guy on the first date. It remains to be seen if this will come back to haunt me. From what I've "heard" it usually does. To be honest all this week... I thought I was getting the slow fade... I like the guy and was disappointed but I was wrong... Haha yup... so far it seems I was wrong because he's being super sweet! Just wish he didn't live so far... and yes... Good Lookin I understand you could be reading this!
Sometimes its worth breaking a rule!
WINNING!
-L
Super excited though! Made it to Round three in the Charlie Sheen internship!! Now I have to make a professional "YouTube" video! Can't wait. Creative meetings and brainstorming sessions start tomorrow. I want this friggen internship so bad. I am litterally visualizng getting it. Power of positive thinking right??
Alright back to true... well me form... i've gotta gossip about boys... but where do I begin? Well here's an honest fact... a little while ago.. I broke a major rule and slept with a guy on the first date. It remains to be seen if this will come back to haunt me. From what I've "heard" it usually does. To be honest all this week... I thought I was getting the slow fade... I like the guy and was disappointed but I was wrong... Haha yup... so far it seems I was wrong because he's being super sweet! Just wish he didn't live so far... and yes... Good Lookin I understand you could be reading this!
Sometimes its worth breaking a rule!
WINNING!
-L
Monday, March 14, 2011
Good Times!
Ya it's been a good little stretch! Got a new job/promotion at work, found out some other good news, had a great, fantastic date this weekend, started the new gig and it's going great expect for the early wake up... Oh and today I made it to Round Two of the Charlie Sheen Intern search and yes @tigerbloodintern is even following me on Twitter!
Seriously I would friggen love to go spend weeks with Charlie Sheen? Can you imagine? Amaze!
So now for the new job I have the bedtime of a five year old so I guess I'll be investing in a PVR. It's exciting though. Funny how sometimes life is soooooo shitty and then boom... everything's going your way.
Haha what a rarity to write "fantastic" and be referring to a date I was on! It really was though. Super cute dude too... and since I like him a little I won't reveal too much except for when he chocked on tic tacs and a Macs run in the middle of the night - great times!
Once upon a time, my grandma Caroline thought the milkman at 7 Bond Street was cute so she made my mum pay for the milk. That milkman was my dad. That's how my parents met. Cute story eh? Now since we don't have milkmen anymore... we are forced to find dudes in other, sometimes terrible ways. This story happened in the city my date happened this weekend... Maybe the city with the best fries ever is lucky?
Now I'm off to toss and turn and daydream about 6 weeks in LA this summer...
-L
Seriously I would friggen love to go spend weeks with Charlie Sheen? Can you imagine? Amaze!
So now for the new job I have the bedtime of a five year old so I guess I'll be investing in a PVR. It's exciting though. Funny how sometimes life is soooooo shitty and then boom... everything's going your way.
Haha what a rarity to write "fantastic" and be referring to a date I was on! It really was though. Super cute dude too... and since I like him a little I won't reveal too much except for when he chocked on tic tacs and a Macs run in the middle of the night - great times!
Once upon a time, my grandma Caroline thought the milkman at 7 Bond Street was cute so she made my mum pay for the milk. That milkman was my dad. That's how my parents met. Cute story eh? Now since we don't have milkmen anymore... we are forced to find dudes in other, sometimes terrible ways. This story happened in the city my date happened this weekend... Maybe the city with the best fries ever is lucky?
Now I'm off to toss and turn and daydream about 6 weeks in LA this summer...
-L
Monday, February 28, 2011
I'm a Wreck
That title couldn't be more true. I am. Total wreck. So much going on lately that I literally come home from work and break down and cry. Don't feel sorry for me... it's a lot of self reflection that I need to be doing. Today I have an awful migraine so not only did I not work... I also can't sleep which gives me more time to think. I'll say right now... this blog is more for me to get some stuff out of my head but hopefully it's still entertaining for you.
Another of my ex's is now engaged. I woke up to that message this morning. Thankfully this guy is salt of the earth and I'm pretty sure his now "fiancee" isn't a crazy psycho so I can literally be happy for him...And he respects me enough to tell me himself which again makes me heart him even more... but it still makes my heart hurt a little and really makes me think. More self reflection... in this case though I'm going to chalk it up to this couple was just meant to be. I really hope it works out for them.
This weekend I worked... I had some fun on Friday though (slump buster thank the good Lord) but last weekend I went on two dates... both kinda terrible in their own ways but both made me realise some stuff too.
The first date, bless his heart, the guy really tried and I can tell he really REALLY likes me. The definition of an Eager Beaver... actually came off a little desperate to be honest. Man, us women can be such bitches can't we? We want you to want us... but then if you come on too strong... total turn off! So where's the happy medium? It's in the connection. Think about it... I certainly have. If I like a guy... he couldn't come on too strong! Bring on the phone calls, hundreds of texts, can't wait to see him.... right? But if it's like a lost puppy and you don't have that spark... its just annoying! Moral of that date... no more faking! If its not there... that's that. I refuse to lead guys on and waste both of our time.
The second date of that weekend was an epic fail from the first minute. It was an Eharm date... fucking of course it was lol. The conversation was painful and very hard to keep flowing... the dude was a loud talker and boy I mean LOUD! Food was good though but the clincher... the nose hair! Maybe I'm superficial but come on guys its 2011! Trim that shit! There is no excuse for dark, black passengers dangling out of your nasal cavity as if to wave and say "hey, it's like a 70's flash black in here" every time you breathe! I felt bad but the date was such a Hurricane Katrina that i even lied to make it end quicker with one of those "ya call me this week and we'll go see a movie"... I know I know, bitch move but hey it was a game time decision and it got me out.
So I write this blog from a place of total honesty and get criticized for it by some, praised by others and its hard to know what to think. One question I've been pondering is "standards" and I would love some feedback on this. We all have things we would like in a mate. Some chicks I know go as far as to have literal check lists and if the guy doesn't measure up... he's out! Some people have told me lately, maybe my standards are too high but I don't think they are. I'm tough. I'm not just gonna open my heart or my legs for any loser but what's wrong with that??
On the date with Eager Beaver... we were eating dinner... and I was asking some of my usual "get to know you questions". Nothing too hard but this guy could not come up with a freakin answer to save his life. NOTHING! NOT ONE! BLOODY PAINFUL! So I called him on it and said "what do you know want to get to know me"? He looked at me and said this... with a straight face... "Well first of all, I'm eating... so that interrupts my thinking".
Collect yourself from laughing... read that gemstone comment again and then tell me... standards too high or dude's just a gongshow?
Things on my list for a potential mate... honesty, good chemistry and connection, family oriented, hard working, fun loving, active, outdoorsy, adventurous... then I get to the physical stuff and that list is short. I have to be attracted to the guy and I want him to be taller than me... I'm 5'6 so that's not a "tall order" in my books but it does make you feel more secure.
Is it so wrong to be a little choosy? I don't think so. I've dated enough to know what I want and what I like so why would I waste someones time or my time. When you've had amazing sparks on a first date it's hard to settle for anything less. Some people say sparks are bullshit but gut feelings are real and you should always trust them.
I'm still hoping for some sparks soon though.
L
Another of my ex's is now engaged. I woke up to that message this morning. Thankfully this guy is salt of the earth and I'm pretty sure his now "fiancee" isn't a crazy psycho so I can literally be happy for him...And he respects me enough to tell me himself which again makes me heart him even more... but it still makes my heart hurt a little and really makes me think. More self reflection... in this case though I'm going to chalk it up to this couple was just meant to be. I really hope it works out for them.
This weekend I worked... I had some fun on Friday though (slump buster thank the good Lord) but last weekend I went on two dates... both kinda terrible in their own ways but both made me realise some stuff too.
The first date, bless his heart, the guy really tried and I can tell he really REALLY likes me. The definition of an Eager Beaver... actually came off a little desperate to be honest. Man, us women can be such bitches can't we? We want you to want us... but then if you come on too strong... total turn off! So where's the happy medium? It's in the connection. Think about it... I certainly have. If I like a guy... he couldn't come on too strong! Bring on the phone calls, hundreds of texts, can't wait to see him.... right? But if it's like a lost puppy and you don't have that spark... its just annoying! Moral of that date... no more faking! If its not there... that's that. I refuse to lead guys on and waste both of our time.
The second date of that weekend was an epic fail from the first minute. It was an Eharm date... fucking of course it was lol. The conversation was painful and very hard to keep flowing... the dude was a loud talker and boy I mean LOUD! Food was good though but the clincher... the nose hair! Maybe I'm superficial but come on guys its 2011! Trim that shit! There is no excuse for dark, black passengers dangling out of your nasal cavity as if to wave and say "hey, it's like a 70's flash black in here" every time you breathe! I felt bad but the date was such a Hurricane Katrina that i even lied to make it end quicker with one of those "ya call me this week and we'll go see a movie"... I know I know, bitch move but hey it was a game time decision and it got me out.
So I write this blog from a place of total honesty and get criticized for it by some, praised by others and its hard to know what to think. One question I've been pondering is "standards" and I would love some feedback on this. We all have things we would like in a mate. Some chicks I know go as far as to have literal check lists and if the guy doesn't measure up... he's out! Some people have told me lately, maybe my standards are too high but I don't think they are. I'm tough. I'm not just gonna open my heart or my legs for any loser but what's wrong with that??
On the date with Eager Beaver... we were eating dinner... and I was asking some of my usual "get to know you questions". Nothing too hard but this guy could not come up with a freakin answer to save his life. NOTHING! NOT ONE! BLOODY PAINFUL! So I called him on it and said "what do you know want to get to know me"? He looked at me and said this... with a straight face... "Well first of all, I'm eating... so that interrupts my thinking".
Collect yourself from laughing... read that gemstone comment again and then tell me... standards too high or dude's just a gongshow?
Things on my list for a potential mate... honesty, good chemistry and connection, family oriented, hard working, fun loving, active, outdoorsy, adventurous... then I get to the physical stuff and that list is short. I have to be attracted to the guy and I want him to be taller than me... I'm 5'6 so that's not a "tall order" in my books but it does make you feel more secure.
Is it so wrong to be a little choosy? I don't think so. I've dated enough to know what I want and what I like so why would I waste someones time or my time. When you've had amazing sparks on a first date it's hard to settle for anything less. Some people say sparks are bullshit but gut feelings are real and you should always trust them.
I'm still hoping for some sparks soon though.
L
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