That title couldn't be more true. I am. Total wreck. So much going on lately that I literally come home from work and break down and cry. Don't feel sorry for me... it's a lot of self reflection that I need to be doing. Today I have an awful migraine so not only did I not work... I also can't sleep which gives me more time to think. I'll say right now... this blog is more for me to get some stuff out of my head but hopefully it's still entertaining for you.
Another of my ex's is now engaged. I woke up to that message this morning. Thankfully this guy is salt of the earth and I'm pretty sure his now "fiancee" isn't a crazy psycho so I can literally be happy for him...And he respects me enough to tell me himself which again makes me heart him even more... but it still makes my heart hurt a little and really makes me think. More self reflection... in this case though I'm going to chalk it up to this couple was just meant to be. I really hope it works out for them.
This weekend I worked... I had some fun on Friday though (slump buster thank the good Lord) but last weekend I went on two dates... both kinda terrible in their own ways but both made me realise some stuff too.
The first date, bless his heart, the guy really tried and I can tell he really REALLY likes me. The definition of an Eager Beaver... actually came off a little desperate to be honest. Man, us women can be such bitches can't we? We want you to want us... but then if you come on too strong... total turn off! So where's the happy medium? It's in the connection. Think about it... I certainly have. If I like a guy... he couldn't come on too strong! Bring on the phone calls, hundreds of texts, can't wait to see him.... right? But if it's like a lost puppy and you don't have that spark... its just annoying! Moral of that date... no more faking! If its not there... that's that. I refuse to lead guys on and waste both of our time.
The second date of that weekend was an epic fail from the first minute. It was an Eharm date... fucking of course it was lol. The conversation was painful and very hard to keep flowing... the dude was a loud talker and boy I mean LOUD! Food was good though but the clincher... the nose hair! Maybe I'm superficial but come on guys its 2011! Trim that shit! There is no excuse for dark, black passengers dangling out of your nasal cavity as if to wave and say "hey, it's like a 70's flash black in here" every time you breathe! I felt bad but the date was such a Hurricane Katrina that i even lied to make it end quicker with one of those "ya call me this week and we'll go see a movie"... I know I know, bitch move but hey it was a game time decision and it got me out.
So I write this blog from a place of total honesty and get criticized for it by some, praised by others and its hard to know what to think. One question I've been pondering is "standards" and I would love some feedback on this. We all have things we would like in a mate. Some chicks I know go as far as to have literal check lists and if the guy doesn't measure up... he's out! Some people have told me lately, maybe my standards are too high but I don't think they are. I'm tough. I'm not just gonna open my heart or my legs for any loser but what's wrong with that??
On the date with Eager Beaver... we were eating dinner... and I was asking some of my usual "get to know you questions". Nothing too hard but this guy could not come up with a freakin answer to save his life. NOTHING! NOT ONE! BLOODY PAINFUL! So I called him on it and said "what do you know want to get to know me"? He looked at me and said this... with a straight face... "Well first of all, I'm eating... so that interrupts my thinking".
Collect yourself from laughing... read that gemstone comment again and then tell me... standards too high or dude's just a gongshow?
Things on my list for a potential mate... honesty, good chemistry and connection, family oriented, hard working, fun loving, active, outdoorsy, adventurous... then I get to the physical stuff and that list is short. I have to be attracted to the guy and I want him to be taller than me... I'm 5'6 so that's not a "tall order" in my books but it does make you feel more secure.
Is it so wrong to be a little choosy? I don't think so. I've dated enough to know what I want and what I like so why would I waste someones time or my time. When you've had amazing sparks on a first date it's hard to settle for anything less. Some people say sparks are bullshit but gut feelings are real and you should always trust them.
I'm still hoping for some sparks soon though.
L
Monday, February 28, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
The Pact
Hello Blog Readers!!
Some of you may be asking… why has it been so long since you blogged? Well… this may sound stupid but I made a pact with myself not to gossip about guys… haha and since this is all this bloody blog is… how could I write without breaking the pact? Impossible! So now I guess I have to explain this “pact” a little more and try and convince all the ladies out there with boy problems to try it because literally, the first day I made the pact… it started raining down boys on me and it has not stopped!
First a confession… I’m a little boy crazy. Hahahah I’m sure you’ve figured that out already but it’s true. I love me some cute, hot boys. I just enjoy them so much. I’m a guys girl. Very laid back, I like sports, I have a ton of guy friends. Anyways, thoughts of men too often dominate my mind (probably because I’m single) and I need to take control of it, hence the pact!
The pact involves not gossiping about guys to friends or talking about them at all or blogging about them or even daydreaming or thinking about them too much. As soon as you catch yourself doing this… you must stop! Ladies (because I’m not sure it works for guys but try it and report back) trust me this works. I told my lovely “Force Team” member “Betty” (we already discussed this code name Mary Louel….) about it and she tried it and it work. It’s like magic girls. A week seems ambitious but I’m a seasoned vet when it comes to this and know that if you stick to your guns it will work. If you even break the pact once… expect the good stuff to crumble pretty quick.
Haha so now my good stuff! What happened to me during the pact? Well day one was clearly the best… I started the pact in the morning and by the evening I was engaged in convos with five different guys! No word of a lie! This is how crazy the pact is!
Don’t know if I’ve revealed this little tidbit before but I will now… I have a job in the “media” so anyways… last summer I played a very fun charity golf tournament filled with lots of different cute boys including NHL players – yup it was my heaven. Anyways… I met a couple guys that day… and one of them “heard me” and decided to send me a random email… Here’s a little sample from it ….
Hey L. I met you at the Charity Golf Tournament last year. we were suppose to play together but then I got moved and you were mad at me. Haha. Anyways I was just driving thru (where I live) and heard you and I wanted to say congrats on getting a new job in (where I live). I hope all is well.
Some of you may be asking… why has it been so long since you blogged? Well… this may sound stupid but I made a pact with myself not to gossip about guys… haha and since this is all this bloody blog is… how could I write without breaking the pact? Impossible! So now I guess I have to explain this “pact” a little more and try and convince all the ladies out there with boy problems to try it because literally, the first day I made the pact… it started raining down boys on me and it has not stopped!
First a confession… I’m a little boy crazy. Hahahah I’m sure you’ve figured that out already but it’s true. I love me some cute, hot boys. I just enjoy them so much. I’m a guys girl. Very laid back, I like sports, I have a ton of guy friends. Anyways, thoughts of men too often dominate my mind (probably because I’m single) and I need to take control of it, hence the pact!
The pact involves not gossiping about guys to friends or talking about them at all or blogging about them or even daydreaming or thinking about them too much. As soon as you catch yourself doing this… you must stop! Ladies (because I’m not sure it works for guys but try it and report back) trust me this works. I told my lovely “Force Team” member “Betty” (we already discussed this code name Mary Louel….) about it and she tried it and it work. It’s like magic girls. A week seems ambitious but I’m a seasoned vet when it comes to this and know that if you stick to your guns it will work. If you even break the pact once… expect the good stuff to crumble pretty quick.
Haha so now my good stuff! What happened to me during the pact? Well day one was clearly the best… I started the pact in the morning and by the evening I was engaged in convos with five different guys! No word of a lie! This is how crazy the pact is!
Don’t know if I’ve revealed this little tidbit before but I will now… I have a job in the “media” so anyways… last summer I played a very fun charity golf tournament filled with lots of different cute boys including NHL players – yup it was my heaven. Anyways… I met a couple guys that day… and one of them “heard me” and decided to send me a random email… Here’s a little sample from it ….
Hey L. I met you at the Charity Golf Tournament last year. we were suppose to play together but then I got moved and you were mad at me. Haha. Anyways I was just driving thru (where I live) and heard you and I wanted to say congrats on getting a new job in (where I live). I hope all is well.
S aka Golf Boy
Yup it’s as simple as that! So I emailed Golf Boy back then we had a date on Saturday. We went Glow in the Dark Mini Golfing and it went really well! He’s super cute, and tall and nice and messages me all the time. Definitely not a game player which is nice too see… Have to see how this one goes.
Yup it’s as simple as that! So I emailed Golf Boy back then we had a date on Saturday. We went Glow in the Dark Mini Golfing and it went really well! He’s super cute, and tall and nice and messages me all the time. Definitely not a game player which is nice too see… Have to see how this one goes.
I also got msged by “New Man” who I finally had to delete from BBM last night because he was all over my life way too much after dropping me like a hot potato after making up a story about meeting some rando…. Yada yada yada bye bye Kyle!
My Eharm subscription is up soon and I don’t think I’ll be re-newing it after several of the dudes were total headcase, stage five clinging psychos and the others… well it just didn’t work out. But hey with random guys emailing me (and texting hahaha yup that’s still going on LOVES IT)… I don’t need to anyways.
Wow I need to not make this the world’s longest blog so I’m gonna cut her off her with a couple tidbits. Hope you all had a Happy Vday… I know someone who got dumped on it and to you I am truly sorry. Stupid heartless bitch. If you want help with payback I’m right here… But just remember Valentines day is lame town! It means nothing! If you are really in love you don’t need Feb 14th to roll around to show it!
My blackberry is still going crazy with boys so I’ve gotta run! But it won’t be that long til my next post…
Please send me blog suggestions or comments anytime!!
L
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Don't Even Know Where To Begin
I guess I'll start with the now and work my way back words because seriously... this would only happen to me. Now since this only happened 26 mins ago according to bbm - its 12:35 - I am still processing but we can work through that together.
Ok so I'm in bed... lights off... starting to doze off when I hear my blackberry dingle... I look at it... and theres 4 new msgs from "New Boy" refer to previous blog... side note - we've had a second date on Monday that was also pretty darn good... ok focus up... the msgs read as follows
K: Hey van ran into one of your past guys tonight
K: Gotta bail
K: No offence and I was interested
K: Bye
FML hahahaha I know. It's okay I am laughing. I figured there are two ways to take this... One - this guy is a lier and this story is fabricated to blow me off... or Two - someone seriously met him tonight and trash talked me lol and I kind of hope the second one is true. If someone seriously took the time to hunt down a guy I've been on two whole dates with and make me sound bad enough for that... then bravo to you and I take that as a huge compliment that clearly you are threatened by me in some way. Sadly... I think the first possibility is true because as soon as I told "New Boy" that i don't care - we had two dates so take care... he started whistling a different tune.
So what should I do? Be sad that some rando match on Eharmony didn't work out? I don't really care enough to be sad. I'm becoming so cynical and jaded it's terrible. Anyways... I'm pretty sure this is not the last we'll hear from "New Boy". He kinda seemed to be trying to bail earlier right Rockstar? So not really a huge shocker.
What is a huge shocker is the huge scandal and response a simple little blog can do. This week it caused at least one big fight - that I know about... (and I got another txt... which is hard to sneak when someone is checking your phone 24-7 lol) I was deleted by someone on Facebook who me I'm "immature for blogging about people who can't defend themselves". Okay... well what's to defend? I don't use any names and it's a BLOG! It's my thoughts and stories. This is not China... no one is forcing you to read it... so stop if you don't like it. Many others do like it though and to those... thanks!
Wow... I think I may have to be done with Eharmony all together. I got two pretty serious cling-ons and now this guy... How the hell am I gonna sleep! Its 1 am and the hilariousness of this entire event will keep me up for hours. "Steve Robinson" - that's my fake bar boyfriends name that is allegedly telling "New Boy" that I'm no good... coincidence or good homework on someone's part.
Frig I hope I get some comments on this - especially from Jenny.
Bon soir
L
Ok so I'm in bed... lights off... starting to doze off when I hear my blackberry dingle... I look at it... and theres 4 new msgs from "New Boy" refer to previous blog... side note - we've had a second date on Monday that was also pretty darn good... ok focus up... the msgs read as follows
K: Gotta bail
K: No offence and I was interested
K: Bye
FML hahahaha I know. It's okay I am laughing. I figured there are two ways to take this... One - this guy is a lier and this story is fabricated to blow me off... or Two - someone seriously met him tonight and trash talked me lol and I kind of hope the second one is true. If someone seriously took the time to hunt down a guy I've been on two whole dates with and make me sound bad enough for that... then bravo to you and I take that as a huge compliment that clearly you are threatened by me in some way. Sadly... I think the first possibility is true because as soon as I told "New Boy" that i don't care - we had two dates so take care... he started whistling a different tune.
So what should I do? Be sad that some rando match on Eharmony didn't work out? I don't really care enough to be sad. I'm becoming so cynical and jaded it's terrible. Anyways... I'm pretty sure this is not the last we'll hear from "New Boy". He kinda seemed to be trying to bail earlier right Rockstar? So not really a huge shocker.
What is a huge shocker is the huge scandal and response a simple little blog can do. This week it caused at least one big fight - that I know about... (and I got another txt... which is hard to sneak when someone is checking your phone 24-7 lol) I was deleted by someone on Facebook who me I'm "immature for blogging about people who can't defend themselves". Okay... well what's to defend? I don't use any names and it's a BLOG! It's my thoughts and stories. This is not China... no one is forcing you to read it... so stop if you don't like it. Many others do like it though and to those... thanks!
Wow... I think I may have to be done with Eharmony all together. I got two pretty serious cling-ons and now this guy... How the hell am I gonna sleep! Its 1 am and the hilariousness of this entire event will keep me up for hours. "Steve Robinson" - that's my fake bar boyfriends name that is allegedly telling "New Boy" that I'm no good... coincidence or good homework on someone's part.
Frig I hope I get some comments on this - especially from Jenny.
Bon soir
L
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