Kisses and Catastrophes: Oh Boy and New Boy!

Kisses and Catastrophes: Oh Boy and New Boy!: "Hello Blog Readers! Love you all!! So I can't lie, last week I was super excited to get my first comments on my blog. Now they may have cal..."

Oh Boy and New Boy!

Hello Blog Readers! Love you all!!

So I can't lie, last week I was super excited to get my first comments on my blog. Now they may have called me... hang on I have to check back and quote because the person actually wrote one then deleted it themself but I get emails about what everyone says so....the first one read like this

"you're fucking crazy. that is SO not what happened. really, you should not be saying half the shit there that you did. get one."

Now lets back track for a sec... these comments were posted on a blog called "Random Facebook Poke" which is actually one of the first blogs I ever wrote... anyways.. that comment was removed by the author lol and then they wrote this - and yes this is verbatim what they said... broken english and all.

"wow. you're delusional. and that really creepy with the random poke too."

So thanks "Jenny" for the comments. Love the feedback and keep it coming. I can assure you that that IS what happened. And you can ask the guy I "poked" if he thought it was creepy cuz I can guar-an fucking-tee he does not. We still talk all the time. But I welcome comments from all so please, PLEASE comment -  even if it is to call me "fucking crazy".

Okay so that being said, I consider myself a pretty smart cookie and because of my job, I have developed some talent as a reporter. I can get to the bottom of things with just a few questions... so ya.. the jig is up in this case. For my faithful blog readers... this will be made more clear in blogs to come but for now... let's just say it's on baby!

That covers the "Oh boy" part of the blog... well sort of haha but now for the "New boy" portion. I guess I figured 4th time might be the charm with Eharm... and I have a very nice date on Friday! Great guy (so far lol), no red flags, we have lots in common and he's a man. Not a boy, an actual grown up man. Heart that mega time. No more boys for me. I think we really hit it off and have been chat chatting it up ever since. Hopefully this one will turn into something… other than a blog story lol. Hard to tell after just one date but I did enjoy a much needed M.O.P

Not sure what law it is... but have you ever heard the old addage of when you're single... it seems like no one is interested... but the moment you get scooped up... everyone comes out of the wood work? Well slap my ass and call me sally if that's not whats happening to me.

I have made the decision not to use people's real names in this blog... one - because these stories are all real so it’s only fair and two - it's just funnier to give fake, somewhat similar to real name names.

Because of the fragile mental state of this persons’ current “girlfriend” ummm a.k.a she’s f’in nuts…  I won’t even give him a nickname but let’s just say he sent me un message texte peu haha and for those of you that don’t speak French… that’s “a little text message”. The jist… he’s not happy and he misses me. Hey I’m flattered and being with a chick as nuts as that… one that makes you block your ex’s on Facebook when they aren’t even your friend on Facebook... would make anyone unhappy.  He even suggested that we meet up and chat sometime. We’ll have to see… I’m all about being friends with ex’s when you can… but in this case I’m not sure that’s what this guy wants. *(T.L.P.W.T.B.S)**

L

P-S – reeeee ewwww reeeeee ewwwww can you hear that? Ya that is the Karma police and baby their radar is stong. LOL

Has This Ever Happened To you?

Well hello blog readers! Thought I should say that because up until this week... I pretty much thought maybe 4 people were checking this out... no one ever comments... well unless its via BBM or txt... yikes!

My last blog post was talking about a certain boy I had gone on two dates with... who really wanted me to call him... well... he read that. Then he emailed me and apologized and asked if we could keep seeing each other... I really respected that email but... it was sprinkled with dashes of desperate and capitalized with crazy! Anyways... he told me to delete the blog post.... HA! Ya no he seriously said that... and clearly that was not going to happen so I said that and said we're done here... take care. Yup not the end... he still sent me another email where he said that my watching of the movie "the ugly truth" was pretty much the reason things feel apart... ummmm reality check... that is not why things fell apart. However... to be fair to him... I think I know what went wrong... and since he read the last post lol fml... maybe he's reading this too so here ya go....

When you join a site like Eharmony... quite frankly there's already some level of desperation. You are clearly not meeting people in conventional ways... so you try a new thing. Second level.. you pay for it. So you want to get something out of it... aka a girlfriend or boyfriend. More pressure equals higher desperation level. Who wants to pay for something and walk away empty handed. And if you're getting to the end of your "subscription"? Even higher desperation! Okay now one more ingredient... this guy has a career where you don't have you're own space... anyways I won't get into specifics but... it would be really for him I'm sure to have a girlfriend with a place... yada yada... Look what I'm saying is this guy was likely "clingy" even though he hates that word... for several reasons. With age comes experience dude. Live and Learn. And block on Facebook.

Okay moving on... Forgiveness... think about it. What should we forgive? When should we forget? Second chances.... who deserves it? I have been thinking about this mega time lately! For very specific reasons... that may or may not be reading this blog right now.

Here's a story... and I'm sorry (lol I might break out in to song... or tears telling this) to this person who sent me this text. If you are reading this... you may hate that I'm about to write about this... but how can I not. I don't know anyone else... whose ever had this happen.
Ok this was sent Friday at 11:49 am - "Hey hun i invited you to my baby shower but it made a few ppl uncomfortable so i think its best if you didnt come.. I still consider you a friend and hope you understand! thanks"

Please let that process... maybe read it again. Yes... I was UNinvited to a baby shower... via txt. Ohmygod my heart hurt. Seriously... please msg or call or hug me if that has ever happened to you. To just be uninvited anywhere! So mean! Especially via text! Ohmygod! Oucharoo. It's fine though. Its the way it needs to be. My presence would make someone uncomfortable. Haha actually the thought of me makes this chick uncomfortable. And I know why... but hey baby! What goes around comes around!!

Oh what else... well I had a date on the weekend.... we shared deep fried dill pickles! I went to visit my mum and dad. I went for a tour of the local SPCA and cried... I wanted to adopt all the animals.. especially the cute orange kitty who reached through the bars and touched my bum and looked at me as if to say "please lady... take me home... i know you have delicious snacks" (ahem Wendy that was for you). There was also a cute poochie I wanted to... named Bonnie! To end this blog on a high note... Bonnie got adopted. Yay! Seriously people... adopt pets.. fix yours and donate to animal shelters. Ohmygod those are good people you work there! Amazing.

L

P-S I think three cats would put me in crazy cat lady territory so I don't think I can get one just yet. Yet!

I am a Magnet For Crazy!

No seriously... I am. I don't ever want to hear a guy complain about chicks being clingy again because holy snuck dudes... you are way worse and don't want to admit it.

Is there something called the "two date itch" that I am not aware of? Ok for some it might even be the first date itch... but seriously WTF guys! Calm down. What's that smell? Oh ya its your god damn desperation and we can small it 18 miles away!

There is a fine line between cute and crazy and some people need to learn to draw that line for themselves that take three giant leaps away from it and draw a new line. Men, I am not telling you not to show emotion. If you like a girl... great! Like her! Show her! Tell her! But not in a stage 5 clinger kind of way.... Find a balance.

Frig I don't know whose reading this blog but dude aka the guy that sent me this email today... if you are reading this I'm sorry but come on... this is a bit nuts. We had two dates. I thought you were super cute but then you sent me this

"I like you. I think you are a sweet and sexy girl. But i just can't get past the fact that you never call me." Ummmm yes I am a girl and a guy sent this to me. Are we taking notes... I'll skip ahead to the part that will now make me not call you anymore and that is "you need to know I expect phone calls if we're going to continue anything..." oh it ended with an xo after that but f off... "i expect phone calls"???? Stop it. Stop it right now. You must have some big balls to say that... I clearly never got to find out and never will now but there's a life lesson for ya I guess...

This email is more proof that I am clearly meant to be alone right now. Here's a big question... would you rather be lonely or with someone and still feel alone? I was discussing this with a lovely girl from work today. It gives me a lot to think about. Maybe now is a time for self-reflection... self improvement and just self.

Well I'm off to dive in to my deliciously large queen size bed with no less than six pillows, four blankets and no one snoring or farting next to me... jealous? Well don't be because I lock myself in there because I'm so scared that someone might murder and chop up my body in the night... but hey it's the small victories.

L

P-S Can't wait for January 29th - this city will be forever changed or at least small parts of it will be touched by blond hair, good boobs and lip gloss. Hopefully it gets here Pronto-saurus! xo

Ex's - Friends or Foes?

So I was creeping through my Facebook the other day... and there are certain people on there who are seriously like a blackhole for me. If I see any status updates or new pics... I have to click and see whats up... one of these people is an ex-boyfriend of mine. So it brought me to thinkin... is having your ex's on Facebook just a recipe for disaster?
This person and I ended on good terms and are still friends and talk... to the dislike of his current girlfriend but whatever... so I think its okay that we're FB friends. I asked around and had some pretty funny results.

All the girls that responded to me said YES they still have ex's on Facebook... all the dudes that responded... do not. They get the big old delete within minutes of a breakup. So what's up? Do us ladies just want to torture ourselves? Do we wish we'd get back together? Or are we just stronger people and can handle the ex factor?

I have to admit... I have one particular ex who I think is "the one that got away" and yup... he's on my Facebook.

To be continued....
L

Shifting Focus

Please tell me how my love life got brought up in a meeting at work. Yup its that much of a joke... synopsis of the little talk I'm "trying too hard". I didn't think so but hey... I am going to be open-minded to the idea. I'm already signed up for the online dating thing so I'm not gonna quit that but I tried this "pact" with my friend a  few months ago... and it really worked. The pact involves shifting focus from the things I always think about... like boys... and always talk about... like boys and changes the foucs to something like my work or my health/ much hotter bod... even if you're single a hot bod is always great.... f with a hot bod you're probably not single...

Anyways day one of the pact... just with myself this time... starts tomorrow. Wish me luck because its not easy... I will however allow myself to blog about things that happen... and if the pact worked like it did last time... things could get interesting.

Side thought... things like "the Secret"? Do they really work? Because if they do the pact is the exact opposite of that. I wish I could make the power of positive thinking work for me. I had a whole different negatively worded sentence before that and changed it... see thinking positive already. Ok... experiment. I will allow myself to allow focus on one boy... a boy from my past... and let's see if I think about it enough... if he'll make a reappearance. The chances are honestly 10 to 12 per cent tops. Ya you can still read it... and ya I'm still gonna do it but hopefully it doesn't fudge up my pact too much.

L

If you read this blog and you know me... msg me the answer to this... do you have any ex's on Facebook?

If You Watched The Bachelor...

There was a girl that got booted off tonight... she was wearing a purple dress and when they give their little sob story goodbye... she looked like she was keeping it together... and I kinda felt bad for her. To paraphrase "I've tried regular dating, I've tried getting set up by friends... I've tried online dating and none of it worked... this was my last ditch effort... maybe I'm just meant to be alone"... Ya I know friggen sad eh. She didn't bawl and say she was in love with the Take Two Bachelor... sigh... I sympathise with her and in no way am I saying thats me yet... but sometimes it can feel like that.

For now I think its safe to say its mostly just friends and people who know me reading this bloody blog... and come on! Does that not sound like my life a little? When do I come home from a date and say "wow I think I just met the one?" Yes never. Today... at work... I had an insightful chat with my goof friend... pardon me... good friend and confidant... Rockstar. Yup... he will be referred to as Rockstar in this blog. Anyways... we were talking about dating and me and I said that I haven't had that feeling in a while...

Come on you know that feeling... sometimes its really strong and it has you thinking "soul mates" that is until your curled up in the fetal position on the floor contemplating pouring expired milk all over the back of his truck interior because you know he doesn't lock it..... anyways that feelin... even if its just a crush! The feeling that has you checking your phone 3 times a minute to make sure you didn't miss a text... or how your heart jumps in your chest when they call and you hear their voice... of the huge smile you can't wipe off when they're around... or even when you think about them... ya well its been a while since I've had that feeling. Well over a year! I had a crush on a guy from my hometown recently but he needs to check his ego at the door... Once upon a time... I was sitting on a bed, not far from where I am now and I thought "wow I am going to marry this guy... " clearly I was wrong... but as I told "Rockstar" (and trust me that's cuz he drinks them lol) today... I'm worried I won't have that feeling again.

Something to contemplate as I embark on this world of online dating... Do I hate for the sparks to fly on date one or give it a few dates... another debate I had with Rockstar who says that feeling will happen again and not to waste my time going on other dates if I'm not sure...

Any girls that are reading this that have a super nice boyfriend... fiancee ahem or hubby... give them an extra bug hug and kiss today and hey maybe some hardcore loving too and remember that butterflies, can't get enough feeling you had when you first met... and keep it going... for those of us that haven't found it yet.

L

P-S Maybe I should just stop watchin the Bachelor. Looking at gyms tomorrow... shoot me.

Migraine City

If you are like me and get terrible migraines... ugghhh my hypothetical hat goes off to you right now. I get really really bads ones and this one has now lasted for two days! People who don't get migraines have no friggen clue how much they suck!

My weekend... way too short as usual and with this stupid friggen migraine... it feels even shorter. I spend most of my time in the dark under the blankets with a cold cloth on my head... anyways... what did I do this weekend? Well yesterday I clearly made more tempura snap peas and asparagus... then hung out with some cool fun people and played trivial pursuit and ya... I made the comeback of a life time... like Britney Spears shit. I'm pretty competitive when it comes to board games, cards, blockus, air hockey, pool, mario kart... wow I kinda sound 5. Everybody likes to win though... admit it.

So that was yesterday and today... gotta admit I had a very cute little day date. I will keep most of the details locked up but I will say it started with a smoothie from orange julius so 10 bonus points right there... it involved shopping and come on check check... I got winter boots and Roots mitties oh and some tea and little k-cups for my sexy coffee maker. It also involved sharing apps which tip...is a great idea on a date... it was one of those very simple dates where you get to know the person a little better... might have a date number 3 sometime this week... And yes... he came from Eharmony.

Ok as much as I want to keep writing a longer blog... it feels like my head is in vice and my entire body is in the over so I'm gonna sign off by saying... I had a dream about a high school boyfriend a few days ago... a very vivid dream where you wake up and remember details and even how you felt during the dream... anyways it made such an impression that I looked the guy up on Facebook and msged him and trust me the msg could of come off as me being a huge creeper but I more meant it as a "hey its been a decade... you popped into my head whats up" kinda thing lol... long story short he msged me back and by some creepage I can see that he's happily married! Hahah wonder what he'll think when he creeps my page... well at least I'm thinner than I used to be.. and have much better hair!

L

I could cry

I just wrote a huge long blog and it didn't post.
fml fml fml
I will try and re-do it tomorrow morning but come on karma... what did I do today?

Online Dating - Great or Gong show?

Gong show - can also be defined as my life on a daily basis - or lol too funny can also be Googled and then defined by Urban Dictionary as: An event marred by confusion,ineptitude,and shenanigens.

Example: Fuck dude, we got Creepy to try to record some of our shit, it turned into a two week gong show. hahahahaha ok got a little off topic and a little vulgar but that's why there's a disclaimer! Since gong show is a common word in my vocab... thought I should define it for you.

Anyways back on track, I am pondering the question posed in my blog title often... online dating? Good? Bad? Disaster? yes... so far... with nut jobs... for sure... dear God should I even be on here? Some might say now... I'm 25 and well... not awful looking (people say) but like frig... where am I gonna pick up? The bar - nope!! The grocery store... ummm not with a cart full of all the delicious snacks I eat... and cat food... ya paints a real picture... Ok so where else... on one of my walks in the woods? That just screams "and she was never seen again"...Ok so other than that i go to work... yup... not gonna find "the one" there.... and don't date people you work with! Also avoid allllllllllllllllllllllllllllll free online dating sites... I am on a legit one... now....

I'm gonna join the gym... for real I will... so maybe I could meet someone there but do you see my point.. Online dating seems like a good option... and one of my besties (ya you Stockmann) met and married a great guy from this website... so why does it suck so much? Seriously I had one date with a real cutie... kinda young but super sweet... then I met a guy I super liked! Amazing, seriously off the charts first date! Great convos, great chemistry, great food, felt he was honest... even great kiss... but then second date was a huge stinker and then after that he showed some crazy jealousness and yelled at me on the phone and i was donezo... frig guys don't act like assholes and play mind games and pretend you don't like us then not call for three days and yada yada yada but don't be a stage five clinger either!

Will the crop get better? I sure friggen hope so! How many bad dates do you go on before you say ENOUGH!?? It's exhausting! Dating is exhausting. All I want to find is a guy just for me ( I had written "all I want to find is nice guy" but that's not true is it ladies... nice is great but there's a lot more to it).

Ok well I'm sticking to this online thing til at least the beginning of March and I'm sure it will make for many more funny stories... or grey hairs and red flags on my end but it's ok... I dye the cheveux.

L

Random Facebook Poke

*BLEEP* we are GOOD at hockey!! Whooooo! Yup that had to be said after Canada's domination over the U-S in the World Juniors tonight!! Wow soooo good. I love hockey! No better sport! Period.

Ok so third day of the year... third blog. I'm pretty proud of myself...ya it might not seem like much but its getting me into a routine and that's good for me lol. My next order of business is ugghhh... cringe... joining the gym. I didn't want to make it a New Year's resolution like this blog but I need to do it. Right now I'm checking out which ones have the best classes because... frig I know myself and I am NOT motivated to exercise. Don't get me wrong I would love to have a smoking hot bod... but I'm pretty lazy and I know at least the classes.. I'd have fun, meet people and the group would motivate me... let's hope!

So throughout the day... I try and think of things to blog about. My life can be so random with so many random encounters...but none sooooo random as the random Facebook poke... that turned into a date... and then a second date to a birthday... where my ex-boyfriend who cheated and broke my heart would be with his crazy ex girlfriend... who he broke up with before me but then re-dated after me and is now engaged to... yup RANDOM!

Ok here's a fun game/experiment... clearly you're on Facebook or you live under rock on Mars... and even they have Facebook... okay so anyways... start creeping your friends...randomly and just keep going through the pics down the left hand side of their friends til you find a hottie! Now hopefully their privacy settings aren't too high but try and see through pics if he looks single... if you like what you see... POKE! Do it! Random Facebook Poke right now... that's how I met "the Pilot".

I am not going to go into all the details of my "summer romance" with the Pilot but it was soooo fun! I got to have a crush for the first time in a long time. And even though he now lives in Panama... yup it's true and no I didn't have anything to do with him going there... it was super duper fun! It started with him poking me back... then me confessing I seriously just thought he looked hot so I poked him... and lol after a while we talked everyday! Over text, phone calls... emails... scandalousness... sooooo good! He was living far away and when he finally came back we met up and it was just a cool feeling to put the messages to a face! and hug... and kiss.... and second date eventually where I got every girls' dream!

I brought a hot new guy to a party where my ex would be... not looking so cute him not me... clearly I tried on 12 outfits before the party lol... and with my ex... we will call him Francois haha... with him is his nutso gf and he tells me "you look really good" and she looses her every loving mind over my presence there... and they start a fight while me and the sexy Pilot (hope you're reading this JP) cuddle under an umbrella in the rain and look so super cute and happy. Ya don't tell me after a bad break up you don't lie in bed at night listening you're fav tune and picturing running into your ex and you look super hot and happy and he regrets loosing you... ya I know... we all do it!

Well here's the time where I make sure and be clear that I have writing this is a sarcastic humorous tone... dear God if you didn't realise that til now I sound like a major bitch bag but seriously... true stories - told with humor.

Happy poking! L

Deep Fryer Sunday

Well after some creeping and tinkering, I've learned a few more things about this blogging business. Twilight is on in the background and I just made a delicious tea with one of those genius one-cup coffee machines! Brilliant!

I must now also tip my hat to another amazing appliance I acquired today... oh ya baby... a brand new, super delicious DEEP FRYER! Who needs a boyfriend.... well alright I still do but for now... I am a genius with a belly filled with scrumptious treats.

I woke up this morning with a craving for tempura snap peas and asparagus from the Keg and the more I thought about it... i thought "hmmmm I'll make it myself". So I went to Wal-mart... scoped out the new member of the fam and then became a little disheartened when I saw the massive line ups! No seriously... this was like Christmas Eve crunch time line ups when all the dudes are buying perfume... Anyways I just got in any line and stood there with my huge box... that's what she said... and waited. Then after 3 minutes or so I saw the 12 items or less line so I moved... it was very long but I figured it would be quicker... and oh baby it surely was because as soon as I got into line... a man from the "jewelery" department said "oh miss if you only have that one item I can ring you through" and I said "SOLD!!"

It was awesome and I told the guy how he really made me a happy customer and that I really appreciated it. You've gotta show appreciation even for little things like that... so in turn I spread some cheer at the grocery store letting someone go in front of me. Had to go there next to buy my snap peas, asparagus, oil and potatoes... fresh cut fries yum yum! But sadly... no snap peas... so I went to another grocery store and yuppers... score!

Anyways the food was well... WELL worth the effort here at Lonely Hearts Hotel... ya that's my house right now with me and the cats... It's been quite a while since I've had a boyfriend BUT I am trying. I'm on Eharmony... shakes own head... FML it's brutal. I really just wish I could meet "him". I'm a pretty normal chick. I have some vices but we all do... I just need to figure out what I'm doing wrong. I need to be more choosy.

Have you ever seen the movie "the Ugly Truth"? The is some truth to that shit. Trust me. I've tried a few of the techniques and I'm going to put them back in the play book. I absolutely hate playing games... but the weird thing is these games actually work... like the scene where Gerard Butler gives her advice about hanging up on the guy mid-phone call and picking back up saying another dudes name....? PURE GOLD! Legit ladies that shit works! This might seem nuts but its an awesome and powerful experiment... ready?

You like this guy... you creep his Facebook 7 times a day minimum... you know exactly the number of friends he has so you can make sure he doesn't add some skank... I mean other girl... when clearly he should be thinking about you... anyways... you check your phone every 5 to 6 minutes just to make sure you didn't miss a text or a call... you maybe wake up in the middle of the night and check too... okay you're with me... you like him but he keeps you hanging on the line and guessing all the time... maybe a rando message here or there and a couple dates.... So delete him. From Facebook or BBM... Guaranteed - GUARAN-F'ING-TEED he will message or call or something and ask about it. If its from Facebook and unless you're a total psycho creeping his page and he doesn't even know you exist... if you've been on dates that means he's creeping your page too and the big delete will come as a shock... he will msg and you can either play more games and say "it's so weird so many of my contacts got deleted...." or you can be honest and say "oh well you didn't seem to into me so I didn't think you'd miss me..."

Give it a shot... or not... but mark my words "the delete is powerful!" - L

First Blog... I'm Already Confused

Alright here we go! First personal blog ever. I've wanted to do this for a while and now I made it part of my New Year's resolution.

Wow... where to start... well I'm 25, single and live in a decently sized city in Ontario. I have a great job that's very fun and I love it. Back to the single part... I have two cats that live with me... yup go ahead and start picturing a spinsterish, crazy cat lady that eats chinese take out three nights a week... wrongo! Don't get me wrong I eat chinese take out but its for lunch... I cook my dinner... usually. And cats are great company! They are lower maintenance then dogs... you can leave them along for a night... but it's still another warm body in the house.

So blogging... it's strange because right now... I'm writing this for myself. No one knows about it or will be reading it... so its really a diary I guess. My friends told me to start writing down my crazy, gongshow adventures and send them to magazines and newspapers... but for now... we'll try the blog.

So what crazy, gongshow adventures could a single chick with two cats get in to...? Well most of them occur when I try and have a date... hahahah ya typical but no seriously... It's worse than the horror stories we all love to read when we're thumbing through the pages of Cosmo. Quick example... just happened a few months ago... blind date - set up through mutual friend... chatted on the phone for weeks... I drive to see him and with in .08 seconds of the date starting... one of his dogs bit my ass... like a hard bite. Skin broken. Case closed - gongshow!

Anyways I am really having a blonde moment working this bloggerino so hopefully I'll get better and if anyone eventually starts to read it... I would love to hear feedback!

I am not blogging under my real name... but its pretty darn close *wink

Happy New Year to all and to myself. I am sooooo looking forward to this year. I am optimistic that this year will be a turning point in my life. Maybe some changes working towards career goals... maybe a nice man for once... and deep down I have a little feeling I'm going to win the lotto! Knock on wood! I need to join a gym and spend this year trying new things... like blogging!
Another part of my resolution is one I think we should all do. Each month I will meet with at least one friend and go to lunch or dinner and catch up. It will allow me to see the people I don't see as often as I should.

Well I'm off to check my EHarmony account... wish me luck.
L